Jack Bieber
by rawrkissme
Summary: One-shot. Jack is being over protective of Simon, so Ralph feels he needs to teach him a lesson about being humble. Jack/Simon, slight Ralph/Simon if you squint. Oneshot, OOC.


**Disclaimer: **

**Paris: Jack! How about you do the disclaimer this time? Pretty, pretty, please.**

**Jack: No way. I don't even like this story.**

**Simon: Jack, be nice. **

**(Jack sighs reluctantly, but listens to Simon because he likes him.)**

**Jack: Oh fine. Paris does not own ****Lord of the Flies****, that is owned by Sir William Golding. **

**Paris: Yay! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****Lord of the Flies****, that is owned by Sir William Golding. **

RALPH'S POV

I walked down the street, trying to ignore the fact my two best friends were holding hands. It got annoying after a while, with them being so mushy-gushy romantic, and I couldn't even say anything without Jack getting all defensive. He claimed I was jealous, but that didn't even make any sense because Simon was a boy. But Jack still insisted I was secretly in love with him, because back in kindergarten I experimentally kissed Simon. But that didn't count because I kissed my dog too.

Anyway, it was sunset on a warm summer's evening, and the crickets were just starting to chirp. Everything was drenched in an orange glow and a sweet breeze rustled past calmly. Dinner would be served soon; after a long day of baseball and bike rides that was just what I needed. Simon's arm was leaned up against mine, with Jack on his other side near the street (this was some sort of girlie-safety precaution Jack insisted on because he didn't want Simon to get hit by a car) and he chatted about how nervous he was about starting middle school.

"I sure hope the eighth graders aren't mean," Simon sighed.

"They're not. The seventh graders are the mean ones, but don't worry I won't let them bother you," I said. Jack shot me a glare.

"I won't let the eighth graders bother you either Si," Jack said, obviously trying to show me up or something. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah.. I guess…" said Simon quietly "But… what if I get lost?"

"Simon, how many times do I have to tell you that you won't get lost? It's not that big of a school, and besides, you have my map," I reassured him. Simon gave a sigh, but smile reluctantly at me.

"I guess…" he said. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Trust me, if I can survive, so can you. 'Sides you have Jack and I to make sure none of the boys are mean to you. I wouldn't be surprised if you became super popular or something," I said. Simon rolled his eyes.

"I don't care about becoming popular, I just hope I get a spot in the art club. Are you sure they accept sixth graders?" asked Simon. I was about to answer him, when Jack cut me off. Irritation made my face flush.

"I'm sure you will get accepted Simon. Not only are you amazing at art, but you are charming and in my opinion, cute," Jack said. Gag, gag, gag.

"Let's keep our _opinions _to ourselves," I murmured under my breath. They both ignored me.

"Aww, thanks Jack," Simon giggled, sounding way too much like a girl for my liking. Jack leaned down and gave Simon a peck on the cheek, resulting in more giggling from Simon. I rolled my eyes.

"Hel-lo? We were talking," I said grouchily. Simon gave me an apologizing smile, while Jack glared. Not that that was anything new.

"So are you _sure_ I will be fine?" Simon asked once more.

"Yes, I'm sure. Hey, not to change the subject or anything, but do you guys wanna sleep over tonight?" I asked.

"We can't. I have a dentist appointment in the morning tomorrow," Jack said.

"Oh… so how about you Simon?" I asked. Before Simon could even open his mouth, Jack cut him off.

"Uh, no. It wouldn't be classy of me to let my boyfriend sleep over at other guy's houses," Jack said.

After a brief moment of internally gagging over the word "boyfriend", anger reached its fingers into my stomach. Who did Jack think he was, trying to keep me from my best friend?

"Jack, look, Simon and I are not going to do anything! I don't like him, okay? Can't you just get over it and stop being so friggin' protective?" I snapped. Simon looked back and forth between Jack and I, like he was watching a tennis game. Jack gave me a look that, if looks could kill…..

"He is not sleeping over and that's final! I'm going home. Come on Simon," Jack slouched off, with Simon giving me a little wave. Anger boiled and churned in my stomach, not only because Jack was being a jerk to me, but to my best friend. It was time somebody taught him a lesson.

In a few days, things smoothed over between Jack and I. We swam in the pool, played video games, and climbed trees until our fight became only a speck on the windshield of our relationship. But when Simon hung out with us, I couldn't help but remember my silent promise to get Jack back. This wasn't only for my own purposes; I was sure it would humble Jack enough to the point were it would benefit poor Simon.

Or maybe I just wanted to humiliate Jack.

One evening when we were walking home, I noticed that almost everything was the same as the day Jack and I had our argument. The sky was orange, my legs were tired, and once again Jack had his arm slung around Simon. It was time for revenge.

"And than, I added the glitter to the picture and put it on my spinning wheel. This gave it a cool, air brushed effect and-"

"Hey, guess what I just noticed," I said, completely interrupting Simon's story. Simon blinked a few times in surprise.

"What?" he asked.

"I just noticed… Jack looks strikingly similar to…. never mind," I said mysteriously. Jack turned to me, his red eyebrows knitted together and Simon's eyes went wide.

"Looks strikingly similar to who?" asked Simon. I waved my hand in the air like it was no big deal.

"Aw, nothing. It's stupid," I said.

"No come on, tell me," Simon prompted.

"Yeah, I'm actually interested now too. Who do I look like Ralph?" Jack asked. I gave a quick smile.

"Well… correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't you say Jack looks like….. Justin Bieber?" I said. Simon's eyes widened and he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Your right!" Simon squealed. Jack frowned in disgust.

"I _do not _look like Justin Bieber," Jack said.

"Yes you do! Wow, I never noticed that before! What with the side swept hair, your eyes, and you do wear skinny jeans a lot and-" Simon giggled

"What?" Jack exclaimed.

"That so great! I've always loved Justin Bieber," Simon sighed wistfully. I couldn't help but laugh- this was going better than I expected.

"Are you serious? Justin Bieber is… is…." Jack said.

"Amazing!" Simon supplied.

"Awful! He sings like a girl. He hasn't even hit puberty!" Jack groaned. Simon shook his head.

"Well than neither have you. You look just like him!" Simon replied. Jack flushed bright red.

"I have too hit puberty!" Jack yelled loudly. The old lady across the street who was watering her flowers looked up. Jack's face turned even more red and Simon began to crack up.

"Oh Jack, don't be insecure!" I said. Simon looked at me and winked, and I knew that he was on my side.

"I am not insecure," Jack said.

"I believe you," said Simon.

"Thank you," Jack breathed, thinking the spotlight was off him.

"In fact, since you are so not-insecure, why don't you sing the song 'Baby' for me? Pretty, pretty please!" Simon pleaded. Jack turned to him incredulously.

"No! Are you deranged?" Jack exclaimed.

"Deranged with Bieber Fever!" Simon replied. Jack covered his red face with his hands.

"Dear lord…." he muttered.

"_And I was like baby, baby, baby oh_," Simon sang. I cracked up and high-fived him.

"Please stop singing…" Jack muttered.

"Come on Jack, lighten up. If you don't, I'm going to throw a water bottle at you," I threatened. The look on Jack's face was priceless.

"Hey Jack, do you want me to buy you Supra shoes for you birthday?" Simon teased.

"No, I think he is asking for puberty for his birthday," I replied.

"Must I reiterate that I have gone through-" Jack started.

"Oh my gosh. From now on, I am calling you 'Jack Bieber'. Or JB for short. Now you have the same initials as my idol!" Simon exclaimed. Jack looked at a nearby light post, like he was considering ramming his head against it.

"Please don't," he said. Simon took his hand, and we continued to walk down the street, referring to Jack as "Justin" the whole time . When we finally reached Simon's house, Jack looked like he was ready to die with embarrassment.

"Hey, JB, do you want to sleep over?" Simon asked "We could listen to My World 2.0,"

"I'll pass," Jack grumbled.

"How about you Ralph? Do you want to sleep over?" Simon asked. I looked at Jack, who was too busy trying to un-side sweep his hair to shoot me a glare.

"Yeah, sure," I said. We both began to walk up the porch stairs, laughing as Jack walked away with a very concerned look on his face. No doubt he would go on the internet, trying to compare himself to Justin Bieber for the rest of the night. Simon opened the screen door and I walked inside.

"That was great," Simon laughed.

"I think we have officially scarred your boyfriend," I said. Simon smiled. "Justin Bieber," Simon mused "You know, I always thought he looked more like Taylor Lautner,"

**Author's Note: When I wrote this, I did not mean for this to be taken seriously at all! This isn't really my best work, but I had this idea I just wanted to try out. The characters are pretty OOC, and I didn't really check the grammar as throughly as usual, so I apologize. I hope you guys like it anyway, please review! **


End file.
